Death and Life, to a lost friend.

Had a friend commit suicide last night… what to think is my question.

I have never condoned such an act. I think suicide is the worst way to go simply for what folks are left with. The questions, the anger… this cannot be what you want people to remember of your life.

I too have been at the end of my rope, and whether out of fear or strength, I passed on the idea of committing suicide. I won’t say I haven’t thought of it, haven’t we all? But where does one truly have to be to actually call the death switch on their own existence. I imagine it has to be a pretty sore place.

For my friend, I would never have guessed in a million years he would pull this stunt. He came off as a proud, confident and almost invincible human being. He leaves behind a large beautiful family and many friends. I wish I would have had a chance to tell him before he left.

Find solace in yourself. There are more answers than you could ever come to realize. And there is always more than one way to pull a trigger. Though we face difficult times, let us now feel alone or withered. God still stands by our side. Keep your face to the wind and your dreams alive. One day, we will rise.

Coming up from within

A movement has started, and not in the world… but in me.

As I watch, my son is growing right out of the nest. He gained his first job yesterday and has joined the Marines. With only a semester to go he will graduate early and be on his way into the Great Wide Open.

I find myself feeling younger these days as I chase my dreams and still can’t believe I mother such a fine young man. My daughter is no less to speak of. With golden hair and a smile that shines from her deepest spirit, she lightens my step and gives me hope for the future. Her smarts inspire me and I never know when she will surprise me.

I am finding that I am truly at a new area in my walk. Learning that not everything has something to do with anything… but that maybe it just is. As I am. In the past, the cloud that has hung over my head from my rearing has been despondent and a constant reminder of my anguish. I have tried so many times to move past the ugliness I was subjected to. I have now found that I have embraced it with all the energies of a great God who has shown me, that they just were. But through time and experiences we learn what we are made of and what we are for.

I am now implementing so many practical sides of myself in my works. Enjoying what I do and why I do them. The purpose of life isn’t necessarily to get somewhere, its to be happy where you are. I can honestly say, I am surely getting there.